


I've Found Peace In Your Body

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Ryden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-14 01:06:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12996504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The same oneshot, but from two perspectives. Brendon & Ryan relaxing together. Ryan has a calming effect on Brendon, which helps the two of them restore.





	1. BRENDON

He tickles my scalp with his pretty fingers that everybody knows belong on the strings of guitars. I feel a circular shape being traced over and over and with every circle, I breath in deeply through my nose to contain myself from shivering.

“That’s it, B. Nice and calm.” He soothes me with his voice, causing me to lean my head back into him. He takes the new opportunity of having easy access to my face by kissing my cheek. I feel a little bit of his stubble, which reminds me it’s Ryan. It’s all him. It’s all him and I. With this contact, I get not just his touch, but his scent of whiskey, coke and home.

I breathe in blue for calm, and breathe out green for everything else. It’s a method I learnt for relaxation that I love because I get to choose the colours and imagine them.

I’m trying to stay still; It’s so difficult, but I need to relax. The impulse to just jump right up and out of this position and get moving again is intruding my mind. However, Ryan needs me to be calm and still, which I completely understand. He wants that serenity that I’ve always struggled to offer, and I’m willing to try now.

Despite the slight struggle, it does feel nice to be like this. I relax into the embrace a little more and Ryan responds, whispering “I love you”. I take a deep breath and whisper back that I love him too, of course.

“Hey, you know, this kind of reminds me of the time in the cabin when we got stoned and I fell on top of you and we just laid there until we fell asleep. Spencer and Jon were too high to notice.”

He exhales and grins, “Yeah, I remember that. I remember waking up the next morning thinking why the fuck were you on top of me, and then I smelt the weed. But, I guess the weed couldn’t have been the only reason because here we are, finally admitting we weren’t just fucking, we were, and are, in love.”

I smile. I never thought we’d make it to here, but we really did. We pulled through all of the mud, ropes and mess and I’d do it again if I’d have known we’d get to this point.

“Tell me the truth, did you ever think we’d make it?” I ask him.

I feel him stop drawing the circles, “Honestly, no. Even so, that doesn’t change the fact that we’re here now and we’re happy.” He carries on with the circles.

It’s reassuring to hear him tell me that he’s happy. Right from the beginning, I thought it possible that he would have a miserable cloud over his head forever. Now, he’s proving me otherwise, which gives me a sense of achievement – all I ever wanted was to make him happy and that’s part of why there was turmoil. 

“Did you?” He asks after a brief silence.

“No, but I hoped and fought so hard for otherwise. Clearly, I fought hard enough. Thank God.”


	2. RYAN

I’m tracing my finger through his hair, round and round in the beautiful silence.

“That’s it, B. Nice and calm.” I reassure him because he’s doing so well at keeping relaxed for me. He melts into my words and his face becomes easier for me to kiss, so I do. Before I got him to lay down across me on the sofa, I told him that I just wanted to chill with him; that I needed it.

He’s trying to take deep breaths and I can tell because they’re slightly unnatural. He’s facing the ceiling and he’s thinking. It’s almost as if I can see the cogs whirring in his brain. Whatever he’s thinking, he’s thought himself into comfort, as I can feel him relax into me a bit more which is even more comforting to me. I whisper to him that I love him and he whispers it back.

“Hey, you know, this kind of reminds me of the time in the cabin when we got stoned and I fell on top of you and we just laid there until we fell asleep. Spencer and Jon were too high to notice.” I can hear his smile through his voice and I can’t help but to smile too.

“Yeah, I remember that. I remember waking up the next morning thinking why the fuck were you on top of me, and then I smelt the weed. But, I guess the weed couldn’t have been the only reason because here we are, finally admitting we weren’t just fucking, we were, and are, in love.”

There’s a pause where all that can be heard is a low ring. Whether it’s in my head, or in the house, I’m unsure.

“Tell me the truth, did you ever think we’d make it?”

The pause is back.  
After all the lies to Keltie and the fooling around with Brendon that escalated into love, in front of my blind eyes, I never thought I’d make it, let alone Brendon and I as a couple. Thank God we did make it.

I tell the truth, just as he asked, “Honestly, no. Even so, that doesn’t change the fact that we’re here now and we’re happy.” I wait a few seconds before I slowly ask him “Did you?”

“No, but I hoped and fought so hard for otherwise. Clearly, I fought hard enough.” And just like me, he thanks God.


End file.
